Codpiece
by Lady Lunae
Summary: Sarah and some of her friends go to a costume party and she snatches a certain piece from Jareth's wardrobe.


**AN: Hi guys! I know I've been shit (like really really shitty) on writing Only In Jest (like no, I'm so sorry) but I found this little gem hidden on my computer and I thought, fuck it, I'm gonna post it. Again, sorry for OIJ, I suck at multi-chaptered-fics. Anyway, here's codpiece :)**

Codpiece

'Come on Marylyn. It's not that bad!'

'Not that bad? I'm wearing a fucking coc-'

'Oh, please don't say that word Mary. It's so vulgar.'

'Well, it's true Wendy! You better get used to this vulgar world before it gets used to you.' A sharp cracking sound came from behind the door. It seemed that Marylyn had slapped her hand against the marble counter.

Two girls stood in front of the door. One had auburn hair, freckled cheeks, and a blue nightgown over her small figure. The other had dark hair, green eyes, and was wearing the getup of a tiny little fairy, complete with gossamer wings and leaf dress.

Sarah knocked on the door. 'You better not be breaking things in there!'

Something hit the door, making it shudder. They heard Marylyn slide to the ground right behind the wooden barricade.

'But I don't want to!' she cried. 'I – just – want – to – be – girly!' She punctuated each word by hitting her head against the door.

Sarah raised an eyebrow and threw a disbelieving look at the tiny girl beside her. 'You never want to be girly,' she deadpanned.

An angry pause ensued. Sarah grinned as Marylyn started yelling and cursing at them again.

Wendy sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. 'Sarah we're going to be late,' she sighed in resignation. 'I'll be in the car then.'

Sarah watched her walk away. She kicked the door, just where she knew their uncooperative friend was sitting.

'Ow.'

'You're a jackass, you know that? Just put on the fucking costume. No one will care.'

'Oh, yeah?' she sniffed. 'I'll be humiliated! Someone will want to take a picture with us and they'll say something smartass like, "Are you happy to see me?" Cause Sarah, if you hadn't noticed, this thing is huge.'

Sarah smirked. 'But you're the tallest one here. Besides, I've seen bigger.' She said dispassionately.

There was a small pause then a scuffling sound told Sarah that Marylyn was getting up. The door opened enough so that a dark blue eye could be seen between the door jamb and handle.

'No fucking way have you seen one bigger,' the blue eye blinked, long eyelashes fluttering.

'I'll tell you the whole story if you promise to behave and let Wendy have her way tonight.' She grinned.

That blue eye narrowed suspiciously then closed as she sighed in defeat.

'Fine,' she opened the door fully on her five foot seven height. 'But I swear to God, if one loser makes a joke, just one, I'm outta there and you'll be walking around without a Captain Hook. Hear me?'

'Aye aye, Captain,' Sarah saluted as the taller girl breezed past.

The pair walked outside to find Wendy slumped forward in her small car.

'She's dead! Yes, I can just turn back around –' Marylyn spun on her heeled black boots, about to make a getaway when they heard Wendy tell them to just get in the car.

The reluctant pirate clumped back towards the car, Sarah right behind her silently laughing.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the old warehouse. When they arrived at the party, their Captain seemed to lighten up at the sight of the free flowing alcohol. Strobe lights flashed across the silver streamers that hung from the brick walls as music blasted from hidden speakers. A glittering disco ball overhead threw the discordant colors upon the seething crowd of fairy tale creatures.

'Can you see them Marylyn?' Wendy asked, rising on tiptoe but still unable to see over anyone at her unfortunate height of 5 foot.

Marylyn didn't even have to rise up on her toes to see over most of the crowd. Her silver hook caught the light as she and Sarah squinted into the crowd. Sarah caught a flash of feathers in the peripheral vision but when she went to look, all she saw was a woman in a swan costume.

'We're supposed to be meeting Pan himself, right?' At Wendy's nod Marylyn continued searching until she grinned and pointed with her fake appendage. 'Ahoy! Scurvy dog at ten o'clock!'

Sarah looked where the hook was pointing and saw a man in green tights talking to another pirate in a white wig.

'Oh look Marylyn, he brought you your Smee.' Sarah laughed.

Wendy laughed with her as Marylyn's face lit up even more. The two girls followed their Captain as she wound through the mass of bodies, heading towards the hero of their story. When they were within sight of the two, they found that they had been joined with a third. Another Captain Hook had joined the motley crew.

Sarah leaned towards the blonde girl on her left. 'Did you know they were bringing an extra friend?' She frowned.

A line formed between Wendy's eyebrows. 'Well, I was told that Eric was bringing a surprise but I thought it was just Jonathan as Smee. I don't know who this guy is. Maybe he's just a passing Hook stopping to talk to another Peter?' She offered weakly.

Sarah hummed. But just as they were about to walk up to them, the other Hook gave a parting wave and left.

Marylyn jumped forward, her fake sword in hand. 'Avast! Smee! Capture that land lubber!' She poked the fake Peter with her sword. He pretended to clutch at his breast in agony.

'Dear Wendy, I fear it is my end!' He grinned and pulled her close. Wendy wrapped her arms around him.

'Hey Eric, Jonathan,' Sarah greeted, keeping her eyes on the other pirate while Wendy and Eric shared a moment.

'Why Captain, it's a fairy! Should we capture her as well?' Jonathan grinned at her behind the white beard strapped to his face.

'Aye. And I should probably capture this dog growing on your face. Where the hell did you get this atrocious thing anyway?' Marylyn tugged on the offending beard in question.

'I should be asking you the same thing but about that thing I see in your pants. Unless, of course, you haven't been entirely truthful with me.' He winked at Sarah who was watching Marylyn for her reaction. But the expected angry reaction never came. It seemed flirtation had thrown her promise of leaving right out the proverbial window.

'It's called a codpiece,' Sarah informed, watching Marylyn primp. 'It was used to both protect and enlarge the family jewels.' She glanced at Eric and grinned.

He roared laughter. 'Good God, seriously? Isn't it uncomfortable?'

Marylyn smirked, red lips shining in the pulsing light. 'We wouldn't know, now would we?'

They all laughed and the night proceeded with many beers, dancing, and all around good fun. The rag-tag group had just finished taking pictures with a group of Indians when Sarah suggested more drinks.

She headed towards the bar, gliding through the swaying crowd, her gossamer wings trailing behind her. She leaned against the sticky mahogany bar as she tried to convey to the bartender just what she wanted. When the bulky man moved away she stood scratching at a chip in the old wood.

Suddenly arms were wrapping themselves around her waist.

'Princess, I don't think I ever gave you permission to steal that piece from my collection.' A husky voice whispered in her ear.

'Maybe you should find a new hiding spot then,' Sarah quipped, leaning back into the slim body behind her.

He laughed low in his throat and starting placing kisses near her ear. 'Or maybe, I should lock you away so you can never steal from me again.' He nipped her lobe and she gasped.

'Nuh-uh. You are not stealing me away. This is my friend's birthday and I am obligated to spend it with her.' She grabbed his arms and gently disentangled herself from him to face him. What she saw nearly made her laugh aloud.

His usually perfect blonde hair was in dreds beneath a pirate hat with the largest feather she had ever seen. A red coat enclosing a billowing poet's shirt was open to expose the strange medallion around his throat. His lean legs were sheathed in tight black pants and he was wearing his customary black-heeled boots. And on his right hand, was a silver hook.

Jareth had dressed up as Captain Hook.

Sarah realized her mouth was open when Jareth closed it with his new appendage.

'You've got to be kidding me.'

'It's all the more fun when I'm being truthful, precious,' he said. He scraped the hook along her throat on the pretense of moving a strand of hair behind her shoulder.

She shuddered. 'You're not playing fair,' she said, pouting. She made to grab the drinks the bartender had just placed in front of her. But he blocked her.

His smile was like light glancing off the side of a knife. 'And what's your basis of comparison for playing fair when you don't do it yourself. Dressed like this, love?'

She raised a brow. 'I'm a fairy from a children's story.' She remarked snidely.

'A fairy. Exactly.' His mismatched eyes flashed. 'When I've been trying to make you my queen for the last few years and in one night you embrace being one of those irritable little biters?'

'Hey! They were cute…at first,' she said, poking him in the chest. She immediately withdrew her finger at how much heat was poring off him. Damn immortal goblin king.

He smirked at her pout. 'Oh precious, what am I going to do with you?'

She made another grab for the drinks and this time managed to duck under his arm. 'Well, you could let me enjoy tonight and I promise I'll return the favor when I get back.'

His smile oozed triumph. 'A kiss for the road?'

'Not a chance lover boy, you've taken me away from my friends too long.' Despite her words she gave him a peck on the cheek and headed back towards her waiting friends.

'Who was that?' Wendy asked when she got back.

Sarah shrugged. 'Just another Captain Hook with a codpiece.'


End file.
